If you came here today looking to read about happy finished knitted items; I fear you will be quite disappointed. You see over the last few days there have been some events that have over shadowed any knitting progress that has happened, or not, happened. So if you have come here looking for happy pictures of knitted items I suggest you stop reading now and go on to another knitting blog. Remember I warned you..
On Friday evening, overly tired from having a week of insomnia (which here means being unable to sleep) Denise tried to go to bed and get some much needed rest. After tossing and turning for several hours, she finally thought she had settled down and fell asleep. But alas, she felt something crawling on her arm. She quickly swiped it off and rolled off the bed and switched on the light with the speed and agility of a ninja. Looking on the sheets she discovered one inch long leg of a, presumably, very angry spider. She carefully lifted her pillow to discover a seven legged spider of an enormous size underneath. (The word enormous is used here to mean very large, very hairy and very much not belonging in one’s bed.) At this point having only a knitting pattern book on her side table to use as a weapon, she did the only thing she could. Gently shooed the enormous spider over the edge of the bed and underneath. Thus maintaining the pristine nature of her knitting book.
Having an angry seven legged spider under one’s bed is not the most sleep inducing event. Therefore between this and several young children waking and needing drinks and what not there was no rest for her that night.
The next day proved to be rather disastrous as well. It was decided that the family would take a nice hike at the local park. And so they all readied and packed up in the van, the family dog included. Denise took her knitting along as it promised to be an excellent venue (here meaning location) for shooting some extreme knitting photos. Knitting on a cliff top, knitting in a cave and other ideas popped into her head.
The walk started out at the visitor center, with everyone making a necessary stop before heading out on the trail. Left outside with the family dog, Denise watched over the three youngest children and said dog whilst Brian went inside with the eldest child. Upon seeing the eldest child exiting the building the dog could not contain herself and leapt toward him snapping her leash in half.
Undaunted, Brian quickly tied the leash together, and off they went for their hike. Unfortunately as we will find the adventure was not finished. After several stops; a diaper change, the leash snapping again, the next to youngest child who could not walk because he was ‘sick and dizzy’ Things seemed to settle down for a moment and the family thought that indeed this would be a peasant walk. Little did they know they were wrong. For after crossing a lovely bridge and rounding a corner, the family dog yet again decided to dash away. For what reason none of them knows. The retractable leash mechanism exploded to pieces in Brian’s hand bruising it, and nearly breaking it. The gears from the innards of the mechanism, still attaches to the leash and subsequently, the dog, flew through the air, right toward Azia. The gears went right across her upper arm leaving three large and painful scrapes behind. It was at this point that the family knew the pleasant hike they had planned was over.
Azia bravely hiked back to the van and was administered the appropriate first aid treatment and comforted by her parents and brothers. (The word administers means given amongst cries of protests like “It will sting!” “No” “It’s stinging” “Don’t touch it” “Your touching it” and the like.)
The ride home started out ordinarily enough. Listening to a story along the way the younger boys fell asleep. Then they encountered a large traffic jam on the main highway. It was apparent that the road was closed ahead because the authorities were directing vehicles to go off the road using the on ramps. They later found out that this was due to a man who was threatening suicide on one of the bridges, apparently he was having an even more unfortunate day than the family.
It took a very long time to return home.
After another fitful night the next day Denise tried to finish the work she had started the week before. Rearranging and moving the children out of one room into two. This meant dissassembling (here meaning to take apart) the guest bed and putting it into storage. The dismantling of the bed went smoothly. And Brian entered the storage area only to find that there was a rather prolific (here meaning very productive) leak in from the pipes in the storage area. This had caused a large puddle to form, which was centered under a piece of Denis’e grandmother’s furniture that was being stored there until she could refurbish it. Needless to say the item is, irrecoverable and irreplaceable as it was the wooden base of the couch that her father was born on. Reeling from the loss, and the mildew Denise got a VERY bad headache. But she was able to curb the headache by taking some analgesics (here meaning medicine) and helped Brian to clean up the mess. The rearrangement is left unfinished and so the family is tripping over items scattered here and there.
I warned you, there was no happy knitting content here. But perhaps if you are the first person who can tell me the name of the story we were listening to in the traffic jam, then there might be some happy knitting contents making their way to you ina small packet.
So come back tomorrow, and perhaps there will be stories of bright and cheerful knitting items received in the mail, of projects finished and unfinished, of happy uninjured children enjoying happy times with their family.
Perhaps this unfortunate family will see happier times,
and perhaps not.
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