The courtroom was hushed, as the judge entered the room. The only sound was the click clack of various knitting implements as members of the courtroom gallery who had gathered for this momentus event, knit away.
“Will the accused please step up to the bar!”
A nervous blond woman stepped up in her hand she held a knitting loom and was knitting away furiously to calm her nerves.
“The accused is charged with illegal use of performance enhancing chocolate while in the pursuit of a gold medal in the knitting Olympics.” the judge declared. “How say you?”
“Not guilty!” the blond woman replied emphatically.
The blond woman’s lawyer spoke up, “Sir we have mitigating evidence that we believe will prove my client’s innocence without a shadow of a doubt.”
“Well then let’s see it” said the judge.
“I give you Exhibit A, this is a clarification of the rules of the knitting Olympics as stated by Stephanie Pearl-McPhee” the lawyer proffered.
(click on picture to read full text.)
‘I see,” said the judge, “well since the usage of performance enhancing chocolates was clearly not prohibited, and in fact encouraged by the organizers of the knitting Olympics, I have no choice but to dismiss this ridiculous case that has been brought before my court. And further, I charge that the party that brought these erroneous charges against this fine upstanding knitter, be fined in the amount of one box of chocolate truffles from Harry London’s to be given to the knitter in question as a settlement and restitution of her fine upstanding reputation!”
The judge slammed his gavel with resounding finality.
The knitters who had gathered in the courtroom cheered and the case was brought to a swift and decisive ending.
Since this case was brought to such a swift ending there is no need to donate any money to the knitter’s defence fund. Rather, please go to the defendant’s charity website Purls of Hope and see what you can do to help! I assure you your money will be put to much better use that way than by supporting knitters caught up in frivolous lawsuits. Thank you all for your support in this trying time!
(while her husband is quaking in his boots)
Submitted by Ace Reporter Denise Layman of KNN
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